“THE OFT-DEFEATED”—the OTHER Sarah Palin movie coming in June

 


 

 

 

 

 

THE OFT-DEFEATED

A DOCUMENTARY IN FOUR SCENES…WITH FIFTH SCENE TO COME LATER THIS YEAR OR NEXT.

 

SCENE 1: 1984

The film opens at the finals of the Miss Alaska Pageant, 1984.

LONG SHOT of contestants on stage.

VOICEOVER: “And the winner is……..”

CLOSEUP of expectant SARAH Heath

VOICEOVER: “Maryline Blackburn!”

 

 

 

 

 

MARYLINE BLACKBURN IN 2010

 

CLOSEUP of SARAH whispering to GOD: “I froze my ass off for you in Big Beaver or Little Beaver or one of them Beaver lakes when I got immersed for you in 1976.  Don’t you ever let some black bitch beat me again!”

 

SCENE 2: 1997

Mayor SARAH sits with supporters at Wasilla Assembly of God church, looking at newspaper headlines proclaiming that the Alaska Supreme Court has just permanently prohibited Wasilla’s Valley Medical Center from banning second-trimester abortions.

SARAH: “That’s why we need Christian judges: so no branch of any federal or state government will ever bitch-slap Jesus again.”

OTHERS: “Amen! Amen, Sister Sarah! Amen, Queen Esther!”

Others leave. SARAH returns to her MAYOR’S OFFICE. She places a call.

SARAH: “Hey, Savior-Man, what’s up? You just slammed another door in my face.”

GOD: “Whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, Sarah. I’m trying to toughen you up for bigger fights ahead.”

 

SCENE 3: 2002

Election Night at “Palin for Lieutenant Governor” headquarters. Early vote totals make it clear that SARAH will lose.

CLOSEUP of SARAH, now speaking on cellphone:

SARAH: “WTF, Big Guy? How tough do you think I need to be? If you’re going to have some dude make a movie about me nine years from now and call it The Undefeated, it might be nice if you’d let me win something for once.”

GOD: “I only want the best for you, and I only give my best. Remember though:  My ways are not your ways, my thoughts are not your thoughts…for as the heavens are higher than the earth, my ways are higher than yours! I wrote that all down for you in the Good Book! Look it up!”

SARAH: “Hey, chill a little. You’re God. You don’t have to use so many exclamation points.”

GOD: “Sorry, daughter, sometimes I get carried away. In any event, don’t sweat it. I’m going to send you a Down Syndrome baby who will make you the Republican nominee for vice president in 2008. And when you write Going Rogue you can quote me. You can even say, ‘I decided to write the letter as though it were from Trig’s Creator, the same Creator in whom I had put my trust more than thirty years before.’ You cool with that?”

SARAH: “Sure, but won’t there be copyright problems?”

GOD: “Not if you credit me properly. What do you think, I’m gonna sue?”

 

SCENE 4: 2008

LONG SHOT of McCain headquarters in Arizona. Cactuses wilt. Gila monsters curl into fetal positions. Rattlesnakes cry.   Slaves escape from the compound.  It’s obvious the McCain-Palin ticket has lost.

CLOSEUP of Sarah, talking to MCCAIN.

SARAH: “I wanna make my own speech.”

MCCAIN: “It’s just not customary. I can’t let you do it.”

SARAH: “Fuck you!  It wasn’t customary to pick an ignorant, narcissistic backstabber to run with you in the first place.  So don’t give me that ‘customary’ shit!

MCCAIN: “Listen, bitch: you dragged me down. You put that black Muslim in the White House. But I’m not going to let you steal my last act tonight.”

SARAH: “Let me tell you something, you wet old fart. If you’d have let me go rogue”—

INTERRUPTION as we hear “Onward Christian Soldiers” playing as a cell phone ring.

SARAH: “Excuse me, I’ve got to take this……Hello? Yes, this is her. Oh, God, good to hear from you. Hey, buddy, you didn’t open that door quite wide enough…..What’s that?……Yeah, yeah, that’s easy for you to say, but I’ve been defeated one more time, pal, and now I have to go back to effing Alaska. What circle of hell is that?!……Yeah, right, but you know what?  You sound like the Brooklyn Dodgers, always saying ‘wait till next year.’…….What’s that? You’ve got me a deal on a one-point-seven million dollar house in Scottsdale?……You’ve got me the presidential nomination in 2012?……Okay, okay, but not so fast. What about the 2012 election? I lost to that black bitch Blackburn for Miss Alaska back in the day, and everytime I see Michelle Obama all I can think of is that. So no deal, Bro’, unless this time you’re gonna take me all the way…..What? What’s that?……Sorry, you’re breaking up……

FADE TO BLACK

27 Responses to ““THE OFT-DEFEATED”—the OTHER Sarah Palin movie coming in June”

  • FEDUP!!!:

    Wishful thinking on my part, I guess… :)

  • Freesia:

    Pretty much.

    And I promise you when she’s not in front of her cult member that she can’t wait – dreams incessantly – of wiping their Hamburger Helper breath off her (I happen to love Hamburger helper by the way. Nostalgia budget friendly comfort food. But I promise you Sarah has developed a taste for caviar at this point.) that is pretty much the way she talks. To God. To Todd. To her reflection in the mirror. To the voices in her head.

    She’s not only as ambitious as ever, in spite of having no qualifications and no character references, but now she’s downright mad with hunger to have what she told herself God told her she deserves.

    Can you imagine the movie they’d make if they could film the inside of her head? Horror flick.

  • Mem:

    LOL Your take is so much closer to the truth then SP’s “movie” will be! I had to share with my twitter and FB friends:)

  • WakeUpAmerica:

    Hilarious! Thanks for the laugh.

  • Lisabeth:

    Very funny. I needed a chuckle after finishing Dunns book just now. It’s very well written and he needs more media coverage. The last few chapters were really chilling. I knew most of it but reading it like this, in order, with quotes from people I didnt know about. Incredible. What amazes me is know one that I know of has stood up to her and really called her on her lying, her evil manipulation of people and events and her narcissism. Dunn talks about Olbermann telling her off on his show and what he said was so true and clear. The other Republican candidates, the media, EVERYONE has got to start confronting her on her dishonesty and violent rhetoric. I dream of People on Fox finally asking her tough questions. Are they so into money they can’t do the right thing?
    Anyhow, my guess is you have further evidence of her racism and it’s in your book.
    That MaryLine Blackburn is beautiful and it’s amazing how much younger she looks than Sarah. I wonder if our wonderful first lady reminds Sarah of her. Sarah is a total bitch to Michelle Obama and for no reason.
    Just one more thing she should be confronted with.
    Sarah undefeated?? Hardly!! And all her defeats are showing as she looks older and more bitter with each passing day. By the way, that Arizona climate can really age a woman but never fear, there are loads of spas and plastic surgery centers in N. Scottsdale!

  • Lisabeth:

    PS you’ve got the start of a funny and clever U-tube movie! It’s much more accurate than the real one. FibdWhnding someone good at that stuff and make a short film. Please… Not two hours long. Overkill! Crawford, who works for Sarah said she just loves the film. I laughed when I read that and thought.. Duh!! It’s two long hours of Sarah watching Sarah!! A narcissists dream!!! How many times will she watch it ????

  • Joe,

    In this post I got a sense that the spirit of Hunter S. Thompson is still with us. That’s rare.

  • dicer:

    These staffers were on her book tour…guess they are back for the movie.Let’s see,you pay to see the movie,the Queen will appear and the poor suckers are paying Palin to run for President,USA! USA!

  • ManxMamma:

    Polliticusa however reports the good news that Broomfield has a documentary to be released in the near future. Do you know anything about this Joe?

  • Sally:

    I’m still trying to figure out how they can fill a two hour film with her ‘achievements.’ I can think of enough to cover the introduction…she is a mother and she was the first female GOP VP candidate. What exactly has she done in her life to help people? To show her Christian values instead of talking about them? Nothing. Zero. This film is another attempt to paint her as God…which should send alarm bells off in any thinking person.

  • BlueberryT:

    Okay, who is actually going to make this into a YouTube video — because it will go viral…

  • sharon:

    palin’s resentment towards the First Lady is obvious and her voice drips with sarcasm when she refers to her and the president. i totally believe it’s due to the color of their skin. And it’s sooooo funny when our pres dismisses her time after time…..it drives her nuts. President Obama is not perfect but you cannot deny his presidential presence. He’s dignified, smart and articulates so well. I don’t worship him by any stretch but I would vote for him again. I cringe when i imagine palin in the white house. omg. I’m disappointed in Obama for not showing support to WI. There are a few other things he’s done or not done that have left me disappointed but in no way do I believe anyone else could’ve done a better job. What bothers me the most right now is that we’ve been talking about palin running since 2008 – WHY are we so worried that she’ll be elected? What has happened to this country that we have to worry about a crazy bitch like her getting elected? Sometimes it makes my head hurt. I’d like to think that the majority of us in this nation would NEVER allow her anywhere near the white house. So why is this still a huge fear? Are we afraid that the voting system is flawed or they’ll commit fraud to get her elected or that some unseen force will overcome the majority and sneak her in? I really want to know why we’re still so worried.

  • Scorpie:

    I tried to do a little research on this man but couldn’t find anything recent. Sure hope another film is in the works.

  • grammy97:

    Sharon, I can only speak for myself. I am worried because there is abundant evidence that a cadre of wealthy people/corporations have paid for vote-rigging in the past. There is no reason to presume they won’t do it again. Rather, there’s reason to judge that their enthusiasm level has spiked since that bizarre Supreme Court ruling, and they think they’re speeding down the home stretch: they’ll take a few risks, they’ll buy everything they can, and they’ll be rude and violent about it. The election of 2012 will not be fair.

  • lilybart:

    Does anyone remember The Business Plot? Major rich guys tried to get General Smedly Butler to overthrow FDR. Yes, it happened. THEIR money is more important than any truth or the people.

  • dmoreno:

    Call Michael Moore with your idea. He would do it. It would be wonderful for someone to spoof the movie coming out–scene for scene, line for line. The contradictory material is documented in volumes and it would be easy for someone like Moore to throw it together in no time. I am sure you have some kind of connection to Moore, Joe. Do it, pleeezeeeee………..He can call it The Refudiated.

  • anAlaskanAlsoII:

    Caviar? I think not. Sarah’s six-pack all the way. Even with all the found money and mooning over the elegant and regal style the elite had in those True Hollywood stories she’d watch while on the Gubernatorial clock? The woman still doesn’t know how to dress, decorate, nourish her body or spirit.

    Remember how she barked at NBC’s Andrea Mitchell for inferring that a quitter a POTUS candidate does not make – rather than fawn over pretty/nice Sarah is covered in salmon slime in her rubber bib-overalls?

    Sarah in Arizona? She’ll still be eating Taco Bell over authentic Mexican cuisine, cause the woman just does not get it.

  • FEDUP!!!:

    Joe, have you seen her blog? I wonder what you will say to this…

    http://www.lauranovakauthor.com/blog.html

  • Ottoline:

    What has happened to this country that we have to worry about a crazy bitch like her getting elected?

    Here’s what’s happened:
    –tax cuts for the wealthiest have redistributed wealth dramatically in the U.S.;
    –Supreme Court ruling that tons of undisclosed money can go into political campaigns;
    –many out-of-work and hurting people (as a result of Bush’s economic near-collapse);
    –angry and desperate electorate is ripe for manipulation by a good ad campaign;
    –fat cats are enabling SP and her ilk;
    –Religious Right extremists are aligned with Repub fat cats;
    –universal health case is at risk, as are Social Security, education funding, and union representation;
    –MSM is unable to tell it like it is, with the unaddressed PalinHoax as a prime example.
    –There’s more.

    It could well turn into a perfect storm, esp with a little voting machine chicanery tossed in.

  • Ottoline:

    Me too! Come down off the Trignostic view, please Joe. We need you.

  • shandee:

    Oh gross! Just heard on MSNBC she’s going on a bus “listening” tour starting this Sunday in DC.

  • FrostyAK:

    Nice fantasy… making all that into a movie, that is. Or maybe you have a movie deal in the works? :-)

    Where’s Michael Moore when ya need him?

  • fromthediagonal:

    Oh grammy97, my sentiments and fears entirely!
    The corporatists outspend all others, and too many people are either unaware or unwilling to believe who and what money can buy. Not to talk about the ones who will vote for anyone other than a biracial, highly intelligent, articulate man who thinks before he speaks, because he understands the global ramifications of the utterances of any US president, and whose innate class and diplomacy is evident in his dealings with foreign dignitaries.
    Damn, that is a run-on sentence, but I am letting it stand!

  • fromthediagonal:

    Precisely!

  • Granny Quittypants:

    It should be fun watching her teabagger acolytes lining up for blocks and blocks and blocks clamoring to get in to see Granny on the big screen. Maybe I’ll pass out free tubes of lipstick. But then again I might just visit peopleofwalmart.com instead.

  • Wis:

    She listens to buses? Now I’m even more worried. Does she use bus sounds to prognosticate? Does God speak to her through those noises? :D